I'd wear matching sweaters with you
sorry if i was weird last night, had weird deja vu that we had done that before, i mean with the peanut butter.
we had.
well that explains the rash. i dont think i should see you again.
I just ate an adderall and jelly sandwich in front of my mom. Homework time!
I gave the naked guy in the hotel hall a pop tart. He stopped crying.
the only reason you beat me in fntsy this week is bc you wouldnt bail me outa jail in time to set my roster you dick
the igloo is complete. bring your weed and the hat with the floppy ears
While looking for an apartment, I've realized that the way I rate balconies is on the "how easy would it be to smoke weed here" scale.
What other scale is there?
One of my friends took me out last night for a bday celebration and I just now remembered that a man blew fire balls across the bar in honor of my birthday... How drunk do you have to be to forget that?
All my interactions with my brother are drug deals at this point
Just set out 2 water bottles as an offering to my hungover self.
It was a blind-side dick pic.
He's my blizzard buddy. We're blowing lines and doing a 3D game of thrones puzzle
He asked if I could not say his name during sex cause he liked the girl in the apartment above me.
Cmon. I wasn't that bad.
You stumbled ass first into the litter box, and everytime we tried to get you to move you said " if I fits. I sits."
Only you would make Mario Party a contact sport.
And you owe me a new pair of switch controllers.
Randomize
