so i just googled the prescription for aldara i saw on your desk this morning...
my cat ate my toast this morning while i was getting dressed. i can already tell today is going to suck.
The guy in the library beside me just whipped out an entire loaf of bread, a knife and a container of peanut butter and is proceeding to make multiple sandwiches.
I told him i wanted to be exclusively cheating with him
i'm surprised you didn't wake up. like i literally came when he was fingering me as i was spooning with you and all you did was mumble "that's a good idea, mom" and pull the sheets away from me.
She gives pretty bad head, but when it's in her dad's Lexus SUV it's tough to complain.
When I start carrying a bottle in my hand, jumping from boat to boat with a grenade horn. YOU should know this isn't going to turn out well.
Everyone already knows you're a drunk, they understand.
This old guy just saw me toking on my bubbler before I go to the dentist. He gave me the nod.
Everything was yummy and fruit flavored and five alive and happymeas.
We realized tonight that we have to get advice about guys from you because you're our only straight male friend that neither of us has slept with.
I'm shaved like a Brazilian hooker right now.
I have the flu.
I don't give a shit
The Vicodin is in the strawberries.
You still owe me one bodily function mess clean up.
You pee on the floor one time and you never hear the end of it...
you know you're doing something right when your drug dealer insists on hugging you before you leave.
I just caught your son trying to perform fellatio on himself. What do I do?
Randomize
