I couldnt find her vag and just started laughing uncontrollably. She was not pleased. Neither was i.
they told me her nickname is "wizard sleeve"
pick me up NOW
We can talk tomorrow when we're both alert. My mind is somewhere else right now.
Where's it at?
In your pants.
She cried. My mom screams. And nut went everywhere. It was all around a bad situation.
A man pulled out his penis last night and when I said I wouldn't touch it, he said, "that's fine it just needs to breathe".
Drinking down Plan B with a 5 hour energy. Winding down welcome week in style.
Not sure if it's my shorts, hat, shoes, hair or soul but one of the above just got me drunk again from the glorious aroma of Keystone Light.
With the drought our water bill is skyrocketing. No more shower sex, masturbating, or pretending to be under a water fall after smoking a blunt.
I walked outside an you were laying down talking to a star about your life. That's when I took the bottle of jack away...
tell me why they applauded then the bartender locked himself in the bathroom when i walked into the bar today ????
We were totally high while having sex, I told him fast or slow, just follow your balls. That was a show stopper.
Intoxication Level: I'm as graceful and flawless as a fucking dinosaur.
There are only a few things more freaky than wandering around a zoo drunk.
The highlight of my week is I found some hetero porn I didn't completely hate. Branching out.
Want to help me interview candidates to replace my Cub/Boy Toy when he leaves for grad school next month?
Randomize
