Well, its 5:30am and you haven't let me in, I guess ill go home
There's a woman here that looks like a cross between Michael Jackson and Flipper.
Circus confirmed... Jello shots before 9 pm are not cocktails for sucess
we just ha sex. he lasted two minutes. i told him to leave because i had class
isnt today saturday?
Man now I have poo on my blackberry!!!
brownberry?
I have fifteen cents in cash and 80 cents in the bank. BUT I have weed.
I don't know why I've never thought to take my bong into the bathtub before.
btw he is cheating on one twin with the other. the main woman in his life has a mullet. I defiantly have either the coolest or weirdest uncle ever
I'm really proud of myself for not blacking out yet this weekend!
It's a Thursday.
Hypothetically going to the gym on coke was a good idea
I told him I would only take his calls if he was dead, dying, capturing a midget, or buying me shots.
I stand by my new policy.
Atlanta road trip update. Jimmy fell into the petting tank at the aquarium. And freaked out. With cops now... Keep you posted
apparently my new 420 ritual is to look at the clock at 4:20 and realize i'm already too high
I just woke up on my neighbors floor with my boots on, but no pants. I have 3 separate taco bell receipts in my pocket.
well we woke up in different beds than the ones we originally fell asleep in, you were butt naked, and your boyfriend was sleeping on a cot in the middle of the kitchen. that might be why he's mad.
Randomize
