I used to have a blog that was basically all about ****** and all of his sexual misadventures
I mean it made tucker max look like a fucking alterboy
But unfortunatley his mom did a google search and found it
My breakfast consisted of a slimfast and an adderal. My fridge is like an insecurity buffet.
it's already thursday and i haven't gotten drunk yet...something's not right.
For the record I fully support drunken you in most social situations... Just not charity events.
You kept saying "sir officer" which would have been polite and helped you if it wasn't a female. She was pissed.
i have two emotions: emotionless and blind with rage
Do you think drinking vodka, rum and sourpuss out of a water bottle, in a class that isn't even mine rude?
Brightest idea yet: lets drink enough at ladies-drink-free nights to make up for the cost of tampons. Breaking even on having vaginas!
My mom sucked on that joint like a nipple and she was a fucking newborn
I have a 30 pack and enough condoms to last until tomorrow morning. Have Mystery Science Theater 3000 ready. I'm on my way over.
We just FaceTimed and I put an Oreo in my vagina for him. Now he has to fly across the globe for me.
this dude is way too smart. he just explained to me the different scientific components of drugs while we smoked. i said i loved icecream.
I swear it’s like he’s filling my soul via my vagina
You were so drunk, you kept telling everyone you had a platinum vagina.
i can feel my liver failing just LOOKING at that thing
Randomize
