Just met a guy who has been in college for 7 years and still classified as a junior. Then watched him shotgun 10 beers. Found my new hero
You look just like Jennifer Aniston on food.
She's making tacos & sangria tonight. I'm sure that's how the pilgrims pregamed.
She literally pulled the door off the hinges and "dropped" it down the stairs... Do I just say 'good job' and put her to sleep?
I want to miss work tomorrow on account of violent projective vomit... Make it happen
he told me he was a Boston Bruins fan so I took his hat into the bathroom and peed in it...I've never been a prouder Ranger fan
I should've been more social I guess. I feel bad not meeting the people who willingly sucked alcohol out of my navel...
Unfortunately, the Bilbo Baggins adventure side of me that likes to go on adventures appears to be losing to the side of me that likes to smoke weed in the bathtub and watch Workaholics.
when i got home she was standing in my front yard not wearing a shirt and halfway crying/ halfway laughing
Definitely broke my toe and messed up my knee walking back. Drink hitch hiking should never happen again.
That is romantic
Well sometimes you just gotta put your dicks and pizzas together to show you care
I have 3 bottles of vodka in my room telling me not to go to work tomorrow.
... and this time i WILL NOT make out with anyone dressed as batman.
Sitting in a music store. There is a 40 something year old guy in a track suit, with a boner, and playing the ukelelie quite intensely.
thanks for thinking of me.
So he has moved up to a stage 5 clinger...Surprised he didn't try to lure you into bed with tacos, like he did last time
Yeah... akward. I don't want a round 2
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