i would really appreciate it if you would stop texting my girlfriend.
i would really appreciate it if you would stop cock blocking me.
Fair warning.. porn on your laptop when you turn it on.. seemed like a wonderful idea last night.. until it died
dude sorry about putting my finger in your butt last nite i was wasted and thought it was mine
my mom hid the smirnoff from me. this is the most fucked up game of hide and seek EVER
is it just my freshly shaved vagina or is the guy at the end of the table pretty cute??
I'm currently being signed up to be painted nude for a college art class. ah yes best high decision ever
Took three klonopin and turned all my jeans into jorts. I miss you
Hey, I'm probably about to be arrested but I didn't want to wake you. But it would be cool of you to get the $500.00 I have in the box I keep my "medicine" in and come bail me out. Also I figured you would be amused at the thought of me fending off brutal prison rape tonight.
I started singing I believe I can fly in the shower and it was like the first stage of insanity
I just put bronzer on my abs to snapchat nudes. If that's not going hard I don't know what is
Just hooked up my fuck buddy with a job working for my dad...this can only end bad.
Just ate 2 pieces of pizza in the shower.. New low or fuckin brilliant??
I’m ready to be reckless and make stupid decisions, and I need you to support me in that.
Drunk version of me is like a sleeping demon inside of me that awakes to the sound of vodka
If i'm not ready, make sure i'm alive. Not passed out dead in the shower.
I'll still do breakfast to celebrate the life you've had.
Randomize
