U Should have said " it's ok baby most girls Sh*t when I do that.
Yeah, you spent an hour in front of the mirror trying to reenact the Sailor Moon theme song.
I would give up sex for lent, but I think Jesus would understand that I went too long without it to go back now.
So if we break up over this are you still gonna come over and do my dishes?
I feel like the only solution to this is to get naked and lay in the shower for a hour then see what my penis wants to do.
ive been a drunken mess for the last 5 days. i feel like a 19 year old again
Have invented new cocktail. Any flavor of crystal light and vodka. I call it "I am going to die alone"
omg i hate the new neighbors. why cant a bitch just be hungover in peace on a wednesday morning.
If I don't at least start a parade that spirals into drunken riots then I'm calling it a fail of a birthday
Sorry about flashing you in front of your mom.
He sent a video of him jacking off....class will be awkward tomorrow
I do NOT want my proposal story to start "...he was peeing on me and then..."
The more time I spend surrounded by Mormons, the more I miss alcohol.
You ripped his router out of the wall and screamed "I have defeated the matrix"
What better than a girl who loves jager, sexts like a champ and is down for t-bell at any hours of the night? oh wait, NOTHING.
Randomize
