elementary school lunch room party. everyone brings their own lunch and can trade stuff. all juice is booze.
Just because we had intercourse doesn't mean we're friends.
chasing shots of tequilla with sun chips. its doable but not recommended
had to bail. she had her cat tattooed on her
If she asks the cat was vomiting before I fed it fried calamari
Also, at 1:30 I emailed myself saying, "are you there Margaret? It's me, god"
He had to stop fucking her halfway through to do a shit. When he returned she was still waiting for him. The joys of MDMA
God damn. I'm really starting to resent babies. They're everywhere. Like fucking land mines.
he ate me out like 4 times and told me that my vagina "was too much fun".
When you turn your data bak on you're gonna get a pic of a nipple but it's not mine
I spilled beer everywhere which led to an oil fire and me melting a spatula again. And then I was late to class so I explained what happened to the teacher.
TOPLESS DRIVE THRU! I have no money and my dignity is at an all time low.
I have to sleep with him. We're too much alike. It's like clash of the titans, except instead of clashing, he's putting it in me.
i'm trying not to stalk him on facebook
i gave in
He ate me out on the front lawn of the post office. The people in the office across the road definitely got a show!
Randomize
