what made it akward was his girlfriends dog watching us have sex
It finally happened. My conscience stopped working. I've never felt so free
I don't even know why im sitting in this office eating a poptart.
Imagine cans of beer raining. Like not hitting you and hurting you. Just gently falling into your hand whenever you're sad
Can we just talk about how awesome I am. I just slept with a new guy while listening to the previous guys bands cd.
I was going to say I needed the exercise but now all I can think about is BJs
My work here is done
Everyone was in the walk-in getting high, and I had to be all cool. Serving soup and salads. Night manager status doesn't pay enough.
He ripped down his Kate Upton poster while we were having sex last night. Im gonna take that as a good sign.
He tried to brush a hair off my cheek, but turns out it was just a freakishly long chin hair. So no, we didn't bang.
It all started with a game of naked twister.
Just paid for birth control in all ones do you think she is judging me?
She thought I was dancing but I just couldn't catch my balance for 11 blocks.
You kept saying, "please sir, can I have some more."
Dad is wasting no time getting back out there. Just walked in on him and a Twin Peaks waitress in the hot tub
Stupid Covid-19
The universal cock block of this decade
Randomize
