I am a mess. Weirdest thing: I woke up with a hammer under my pillow. No idea why.
I know you're trying to keep the moaning to a minimum but the banging on the wall is totally giving you away
Scored tix to flower show. Do we want to go drunk on Saturday or hungover on Sunday? Only two options.
If it's any consolation, I've been sitting in the hallway in assless chaps for the past thirty minutes
Well you just missed the ten chi o pledges singing la bamba at our doorstep.
So I'm trying to figure out if starting the day running around the quad in a black t-shirt and bikini w/ a drawn on mustache is a good way to start the day...
He offered to teach me how hula hoop in exchange for acid. I took him up on it.
Going through Bojangles drive thru chanting "KFC" hammered at 8:00 was the highlight.
We bought only tequila and Twister. And you're STILL surprised you got pregnant?
Take a shit and have a hit. It's the Sunday Funday Rule.
I am sure I don't wanna know but I have to ask... Why is there a kiddie pool full of jello in the living room?
Welp, I'm allergic to codeine. Found that one out the hard way.
If you're with any of them tell them i apologize for (insert whatever i did here)
I was the only one in group sessions to bring up sex as a stress reliever. Some of those people were awfully judgy despite the fact we were all in a psych ward.
He said he would get me a helmet and bedazzle it with my name and address so the cabs would know where to take me
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