did i really try to jack off an athens police horse last night? please tell me youre kidding..
$22.99 left in the bank til payday = 3($7 jack & coke) + 2($0.89 T-Bell taco) + $0.21 in case of emergency.
math is fun
I can get orange kush...
GET IT NOW! WHY IS THERE A DOT DOT DOT?!
We totally just fucked in a closet. These vacations with his family are causing creativity I never thought I had.
Honestly, I don't care whether it was a guy or a girl. Best blowjob ever.
just a question.. totally understand if you dont know what im talking about.. but.. do you have my funnel? i think i tucked it in to your bed last night.
I can't believe we had "50th anniversary of man in space" sex.
I find it worrying that she bit me in bed. Then proceeded to write her name in bite marks. All without ever losing the rhythm of our fucking.
Craig, a bottle of Jamison, and I had a party on the roof last night. No idea how I got down. My injuries indicate fall...
Me and the guy at the liquor store are on a first name basis, college is all about networking.
Well would you like to come over anyway? I will be wearing sweatpants and disappointment. Also, I have Jack Daniels and I've managed to get drunk in under half an hour. But my boobs look awesome.
Mom and dad should be so proud half of their children have gotten naked in the same local grocery store
He told me that he wants to fuck me only wearing a princess tiara...How could I possibly say no to that?
Only I could dislocate my ribcage coaching volleyball and still want to get drunk tonight.
Is this making any sense, because I’m puking and trying to be Philosophical right now
Randomize
