i've never been more proud of someone than i was when he told me he got his first blowjob at age 13...from two chicks
you dont publicly announce someones alcholism over facebook. you dont out someone like that.
can you imagine how much money lesbians save on birth control?!?
bitches.
Nicole wore just a belt and her pedometer and hopped on top of me last night. She "walked" 822 steps before we finished.
New charity walk idea!
He;s fine. He just kept saying "hurricane Gordon is coming to shore" and flexed his muscles a lot.
as of this morning I have officially vommed on the highways of 6 different countries. It's a proud moment.
I think we should bring back the casual nipple tassel
But he was wearing a glow-in-the-dark condom. It was like a glowing rod of kryptonite. I can't resist that, kryptonite is my weakness.
you were passed out so I asked you what my name was and you opened your eyes and yelled "ricotta cheese"
no way
that's when i decided you were gonna be okay
He got cut off by the bartender. So he kept buying people drinks of they would i get him a drink. Before you know it him and 8 people were outside the bat trying to get people. To by them drinks
I'm pretty sure NORMAL roommates don't have to hide each others sex toys from their fuck buddies.
Guess who just hooked up with a guy who was wearing a shirt from his mom's "dress up closet"?!
Happy hour crawl turned into power happy hour turned into tequila shots turned into I'm drunk in class on Cinco de Mayo at 7 am.
I DEMAND FORESKIN
breakfast this morning: omelette, Valium and baileys hot chocolate
Now that sounds like the breakfast of champions
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