hey what are you doing
hooking up with some marlborough girl. shes gorgeous!
i texted you because i like you, and i told my freinds you were my fiance. but sine we're not dating you're not cheating and i'm pathetic
just woke up in the hotel with gummi bears all around me and someone took the tv
we took the tv and as for the gummi bears don't eat them you put em in her vagina
you don't understand, he speaks spanish and is tall. i have to do him.
They gave me a glowstick necklace to wear so they could locate me if I wandered off into the woods
You left a trail of sequins from your dress incase we got lost
my knee is completely bruised from kneesliding into the bowling ball. bowling for creativity points was a win
yeah the little voice in my head screaming YOU NEED TO GET LAID eventually grew legs and started kicking me so to avoid brain damage i had to fuck him
the evidence from last night is not good...
what evidence?
my underwear is on inside out, and there are french fries in my hair...
crossing my fingers that hitting golf balls off my pourch was a dream and not something that actaculy happened
My roommate is watching gummy bears "race" from a mega-marshmallow to his lava lamp.
Just because I don't want to be her booty call doesn't mean I wanna stop getting tit pics. I'm a sucker for double D's
This morning I found four opened yet full beers on my desk and my towel rack pulled off the wall and in bed with me
They put me in room 420 every time and I take bubble baths and smoke in the room and they bring food TO MY BED
It can't be Friday yet, in still getting friend requests of people I don't remember from last weekend
I also farted in bed this morning and said, "I don't even care. My body deserves that."
Randomize
