You'll put your fingers inside me but you won't be my FB friend?
we need to get ahold of those "sexting" teens on tyra. HAWT!
wasnt one 13?
like the only thing i remember is bringing a piece of toast to the bar...
I just ASL-ed someone for the first time since 2002.
She keeps feeding me drugs. Its like I'm her baby bird or something
If I get there and all he has for my big valentines surprise is his body, I'm dumping his ass and posting his dirty pictures on a porn site so people can laugh at him.
Turn on the Discovery Channel
Lets fuck to motorcycle gang fighting
I think the worst was the guy who sent me YouTube videos about how age doesn't matter, and then a link for natural breast enhancements. Kill me.
I've never had someone so bad at kissing. It was like he was trying to block my airway with his tongue and he succeeded...
I had to rename my dildo. I met a little kid who named his teddy bear the same name. It just felt wrong.
We can't go out this weekend. My uterus is so desperate it's given me permanent beer goggles
I am so not sober enough to have a 5 minute conversation in Spanish
I also don't hate being called a giant sack of cheese. Is that weird?
My uncle showed up to pick us up at the bar just as I bought a drink so I put it in my pocket #drunksmart
Got electrocuted a second ago, is it weird that I have a boner?
Randomize
