I tried booty calling last night but apparently he was too tired and wants to meet up tonight. I told him planning defeats the purpose.
id like to know how you successfully locked me in your backseat last night
Blood drive hookups: you will probably faint during the sex, but at least you know neither of you has AIDS
My rats are drinking wine. I am drinking with rats. God i am so alone.
Hey, you guys have all had chicken pox, right?
There's a middle eastern man wearing a cow costume with tequila coming out of his udders, but I'm not sober enough to feel uncomfortable with it.
3pm strippers are depressing
Hooked up with a guy that looked like Dean Thomas. Mediocre at best, but I stopped myself from calling him Dean in bed. So I got that going for me.
This snow needs to melt so I can get wasted on someones front lawn
sex in a hospital.. check
I had a dream last night that Sam and Dean had to get rid of a murderous ghost haunting an elf on the shelf. I think I'm ready for Christmas to be over.
I don't care how hot she was. She didn't like Scooby Doo and I don't fuck with that.
Can't we just go back to fucking and having your boyfriend think you're completely straight?
There's lube on my homework. #priorities
She asked me to tell her the three words every girl wants to hear so I whispered "I play hockey" in her ear.
Randomize
