Woke up wearing just a scarf, the holidays are definetly here
just left the emergency room. condom extraction.
Who would have guessed that on my moms birthday she'd have sex with the door open. :(
So last week was the 4th time a girl cried after sex. I'm seriously doing something wrong
I incognito puked under the VIP table. Did Jersey proud.
As per my father's affair, married men are no longer off limits.
Dude their dog does tricks for sips of beer. He keeps going up next to people and trying to shake. This is awesome.
Attn: you have now used your free, one time admission to pleasure town. Thank you for visiting I hope you enjoyed your trip. All future trips to P.T. Will cost you full admission price. We have different pricing plans to accommodate different situations, and remember it is more of a bartering system than a set price. Your patronage is always welcomed and once again thank you for visiting and have a fantastic evening.
I'm lost. Please come find me. I'm inside the I-270 circle somewhere. I can hear laughing.
just reminessing about the wedding and were they seriously to tight to serve a meal oorrrrrr was it just another one of my black-out-by-dinner drunks
the fact that you actualy have a 'black-out-by-dinner drunk' is a bit deserving..
4 girls from the bar, me, strip basketball. here. NOW
We found him wrapped up in a giant table umbrella in the bathroom.
Yep. How's your hangover?
It's like I fucked its sister and it's getting back at me.
I am thankful for thumbs.
Because without thumbs, we would be dolphins.
Land dolphins.
At the bar in my pajamas again
Ummm that is the 3rd time this week and it is Wednesday
Randomize
