I seriously love my fucking boobs. They are so boobs.
I mean i might have to drop this class tomorrow. I just walked into a midterm
I cannot stress to you how much better your current situation is than listening to gay sex
i was trying to find the best way to say come over and have sex, without saying it.
it's official, i've been high in 26 different states, and three different countries.
The bar owner gave me permission to push people into the pool. I'm never going to leave Los Angeles
Ugh why does it have to be margarita Monday. Why can't it be pants off dance off beer pong but with jager Monday.
And I just want you to know I got myself into this mess. I gotta get myself out. Plus, don't you only need one kidney?
I just imagined myself as R2-D2 and you as C3P0 walking around the Vegas desert looking for alcohol
My cat is staring at me while I drink my wine on the bathroom floor in the morning instead of attending class. Sorry mom and dad. Sorry cat.
I made out with a guy so that I could get ahead in the bathroom line, totally acceptable
He is a sweet angel sent from dick heaven!
What is your friends name that I hooked up with? ....I think j found his credit card under my bed
If you find me in the bathroom in a fetal position, licking frozen bacon .. I might have Drank a little too much.
Ok so I need a recap of last night...
YOU SPENT SIX DOLLARS AT NICKEL BEER NIGHT!!! How's that
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