We're 3 acts into this drag show and we've already run out of Lady Gaga songs.
after the first blizzard, i went out and bought a thirty and put it in a cooler and hid it out in the backyard. now the second blizzard has deposited 2 feet of snow on top of said cooler. there is a shovel and treasure map over here waiting for you
Was I wearing clothes when I handed you your keys. Please tell me I was wearing clothes.
i'm sorry for cheering you on when you were making out with him. i was just celebrating the fact he was decent looking for once
I would have to gauge my vagina to make it fit.
Its so fun. We're having a music war with the boat next to us. They have strippers.
Alright whatever you say... But in the future when you really wish you had a dildo don't come crying to me about it.
I just replaced the poop spray with an air horn... Now we wait!
Don't shower too much, need the shame to be fresh to get the best story
He told me I'm a small core of pure evil wrapped up in sweetness, gold, and puppies. He gets me.
That is beautiful
My girlfriend is talking to my ex-boyfriend at the bar right now. I REPEAT, GIRLFRIEND IS TALKING TO EX BOYFRIEND RIGHT NOW. GET ME THE FUCK OUT OF THIS PLAACE
Keep in mind this was 2012... YOLO was a very new concept.
I wanted to waterboard myself with beer, but no one would give me their shirt to do it.
Okay first of all fuck you and everything you stand for because Taco Bell is amazing.
Why didn't we pregame for this?
Because it's breakfast!?!
Randomize
