I'm outside your house...sorry I feel like I don't need formal invites anymore.
Roller skating + drunkeness + peeing = mess
shes perfect for him. shes never seen a penis so she has nothing to compare his to.
yeah you're probably right.. i should stop equating love with getting naked on a webcam for him.
dude there is absolutely no room for a slide in our room
i think my love is proven by the fact that i still want to have sex with you after this conversation
He played pinball with my ovaries. He won.
I just told the sun to stop. That hungover.
alll i remember is comming back downstairs, his pants were off and he was aplauding me
What are the chances I get my period 2 weeks early just as welcome week starts. My uterus is conspiring with my dead catholic grandma
If you bet guys that you can drink them under the table they will pay for your drinks all night until they pass out. I have this down to a science that I think even my dad would appreciate.
What do you mean? Just eat his food and have sex with him. Unless you want a relationship, then just eat his food.
The FEDEX guy just cock blocked me by getting his van stuck in my driveway
within five minutes of being here her dog found my vibrator in my bedroom and was carrying it around all proud! and her mom is here. so embarrassing :(
isnt it crazy how for years we were living our owns lives, and now only a wall seperates us?
stop. eating. my. shrooms.
Randomize
