so he came over for the first time and i completely forgot i had pictures of him printed out from facebook on my wall and a newspaper article with him in it.. you can guess that it lead for an awkward situation.
No one showed up yet so I smoked 4:20 on chatroulette with a naked chick..
Is a box of franzia too insincere of a gift for "i'm sorry I backed into your toddler with my car"?
Thanks for the ave Maria song you left on my phone that lasted for TEN minutes.
and this is why we should make december sharting awareness month.
Dude, someone broke the toilet seat in two, the is a pair of panties on the kitchen counter, and the entire house smells like a brewery
You were so drunk you decided to go out of the car window instead of using the door, once you realized what you had just done you said fuck it and went back in through the window
Do you think he feels stupid trying to bang girls with his small penis? I'd be embarrassed.
Take a good hard look at your life. And the number of 18-20 year olds that you have made out with in the last 6 months... and then keep doing whatever the fuck you want.
Dude random question. Where you with me when the vulture got electrocuted from the power lines and fell on the sidewalk in front of us?
Why is your solution always to masturbate
Because it usually works
You started crawling towards a moving train. Maybe you should take it easy next time
Get his dick out of your ass and put on some pants we're here
if you guys find pieces of my teeth don't throw them out please
He went in for a kiss so I shook his hand instead.
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