idk hes just been lookin at me weird all night
he probably just wants to cut your skin off and wear you like a body suit
i cant even explain all the reasons why i dont want to fuck you right now.
she texted him the burrito order while she was puking in the Del Taco parking lot...
i told her my name was noah and she leans in and whispers "that makes me so wet." ive never been more thankful for the Notebook
Last time I saw him the sun was coming up and he was asleep in the student wellness parking lot. For some reason people were peeing on him.
She kept telling the ambulance to sit down and then started crying when we told her it couldn't hear her
I'm going as either a recovering alcoholic, or as a guy who came to the party straight from work. Too literal?
How do I go about messaging a girl on a dating site whose little sister I've had a three some with...?
he fucked me with his goalie mask on. it was like sleeping with Darth Vader
Great. I will show up in your office wearing only oven mitts later today.
Just remembered when I first started going down on him he goes "ok now I feel a little better about the broncos losing"
mom how many of the songs from my childhood are mexican drinking songs?
all of them.
With gravity the way it is and your butt clearly being the size of a bus you'd break your hip or something
I shouldn't have to tell you to stop throwing knives at me.
you going clubbing tonight?
well its tuesday isnt it
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