Funny, I didnt know that facebook statuses were for crappy song lyrics
Every time I hit my bowl my neighbors set off fireworks... I stop, they stop. I start again, they start again. Too high for this.
I got kicked out of a mexican restaurant last night for being too drunk. This is getting dangerously close to rock bottom
GOOD NIGHT DREAM OF ALCOHOL SNO CONES
She was purple for Halloween. She literally spray-painted herself purple and called it a costume. It won't come off.
You know the cave of wonders in Aladdin? That's how I feel about his apartment. Except with blow and other treasures.
I just love it. It's warm and soft and the rest of the world is so mean. My bed would never be mean to me
So we just smoked a bowl, out of an antler, with this old dude, while standing at the bar. Dude just walked up and said we were in his spot, just began packing it and handing it around...
By talk him into it I assume you mean blow him into it.
Well, I can mark "throwing up in a daycare bathroom due to a hangover" off my bucket list.
Then he unzipped his pants and whispers, " oohhh, look out!"
I have a to do list for the summer and thing one is figuring out my sexual orientation
Man, coughing on your period is like the biggest gamble a girl can make.
I was legit late to work one day Bc it took me so long to get a good nude
With a word you would own me. At your command I would walk to your house completely naked.
Randomize
