come over anyways, right now, right this second
it can be a super quick quicky, then you can go back to studying
wow, that sounds SO fun, please stop enticing me with premature ejaculation
Your dad touched me again.
you'd be alarmed at how much plan b i just found in mom's bathroom...
Ur keys r in ur purse. ur purse is on the couch. ur cigs r on ur front seat. u drank all ur wine. mollie took ur jkt bc u cockblocked her. and in case anyone asks, the saints won 31-17.
You kept excitedly announcing to the bar what time it was. Followed by an equally excited "Clock language still makes sense!"
I think whatever his name is just puked on the stairs. Just an fyi for the morning. Love you.
She still cant shoot whiskey?
Im having serious doubts about this relationship
Yeah.. he went to Tebow in the middle of the crosswalk and got hit by a cab... The yellow ones really don't stop
Her name means "flower that enlarges and gives birth." There is no way she isn't getting knocked up
High Amy loves you. Sober Amy is unsure, but she's not here so fuck that bitch.
It's hard to be judgmental of others when you are wearing silver pleather.
I'm proud of you, you were pretty classy last night, you didn't puke AND you didn't take off your shirt, except for those two times in the corner.
Lol, yeah it'll be fun,but will it be cereal and dick pics fun?
Thanks for duct tapping my dick to my leg while I was passed out. I could only aim straight down. I stood on your bed. Have a nice day at work!
in the future we should consider sippy cups so we can drink and passout accordingly
Randomize
