She was so bad on top that i found myself watching a TV that wasn't even turned on
it was like eating out sand paper
she's just sitting in a corner ripping all of the filters off her menthols
just watched paranormal activity stoned. laughed the whole time and screamed when they turned on the lights. eating doritos. I love my life
I'm bakin' bread in my pussy!
What?
I have a yeast infection.
She thought someone was breaking in but when I said it was me she got even angrier and threw a coffee mug at my head.
story update. I'm locked out of my house. Walk of shame advisory extended...
Apparently Bin Ladens last act of terrorism is cock blocking me....
We fucked in his mom's shower and all I could think about was being too old to be sneak banging while someone's mom was out of town and how much mildew was on the shower curtain. Fuck you, Adulthood.
I'm pregnant.
The fact that this number is not in my contacts is giving me hope it's a wrong number???
sometimes when you're high at work you just have to say fuck it and eat the dog treats
The fun I thought I would be having now when I was six is vastly different from what I am currently doing. Hurraaay sex and vicodin.
At least you didn't sleep with Ashley's uncle.
I HAVE 5 FELTING NEEDLES AND THEYRE GOING DIRECTLY INTO YOUR EYES IF YOU POST THAT SHIT
Yeah. I fucked her boyfriend, she knows, and she still wants to keep dating him. That's love.
Randomize
