She's like a pop up book from hell.
I just found a thank you note I apparently wrote to my bed last night for letting me borrow the comforter.
JUST SAW MY DRUG DEALER SOBER AND GOING TO CLASS. This is weird, its almost like he's an actual student whio leaves his room...
We saluted the chips to the national anthem before cooking them. The house has to get a munchies fryer
She was pretty drunk. It was like watching a puppy explore the world for the first time.
Some guy thought i was the waitress and handed me his credit card. drinks on me.
and somewhere between crying in her arms and throwing up in her front yard, we became friends.
Please tell me last night did not happen and there is another reason why my phone smells like ranch sauce ahahah
I need to quit being a slut. It's to the point that I got my period today and automatically I Believe I Can Fly popped into my head.
On another note- any interest in going to a gay bar to hit on 19yr olds?
You had me at "let me see your balls"
i woke up in a bed of pop tarts
They also submitted to my demands for pizza
Masturbating to the DNC live stream. Not my proudest moment
We had sex on a couch that was held together by Velcro. Want to know an unsexy sound? Velcro ripping apart under your bare ass.
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