The world would be so much better with thought bubbles.
FYI : beer farts in the morning chase women right out of bed!
he doesnt exactly give off the "im mature enough to use my penis" vibe
Tried to eat a sandwich this morning. Couldn't. My jaw is locked up. These marathon blow jobs are killing me
Got a stripper to howl at my wolf shirt.
Just bought koolaid for my vodka in a DARE shirt with my NES wallet. I'm everything I thought I'd be when I was 8.
Except even better, boobs get discounts.
I told him to keep his feelings in his pants because they're annoying and to just fuck me.
I had to wash my hair with conditioner because my sister got hammered and gave the dog a 3am sprinkler bath with my shampoo.
I guess I'll just chalk it up as a learning experience and a lot of great sex.
Two chicks walked outta his room and all he did was beat his chest like LeBron and yell, "And 1!"
No. Every time we go there, you end up getting high, then lost, then going home with strangers.
Sooooooo Your wife and your girlfriend are making cat noises at one another via text
I was just tongue fucked into oblivion.
I used your vibrator when you were out of town. Now I know why you always come out of your room smiling.
He put a doughnut around his dick and I ate it. What can I say. It was a good fucking night.
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