I GOT EATEN OUT IN A MERCEDES ON A TUESDAY NIGHT. I EARNED THIS SHIT.
This girl told me I had the balls of an infant..I replied by saying her vagina looks like Stargate.
you woke up, pulled a beer bottle out of your pants..took a drink and went back to sleep.
She just messaged me 19 sad faces.
I don't think blacking out in class is a good idea. But I'm game
Whoever was the last to get in from the chinese firedrill had to pay the dealer.
Yea i think drunk-me kept all my bar receipts, just to throw it in sober-me's face.
I think I ate my cheesy fiesta potatoes cup.
Safe to say I'm terrified but totally AMPED
It's like wanting to be a vampire vs being a vampire. You don't know the cock lust until it's infected you.
Does your body have a liquid mass index? does that make sense? I think I drank it in Long islands.. Kill me now..
This guy is selling weed on the train. Like... Straight up. No fucks given.
I just had a twenty minute discussion about endangered breed dog breeding with an Extremely drunk guy
So many questions...
Chasing my kid around a 30' jungle gym was not how I envisioned spending the day off work to recover from a vasectomy.
I woke up and there was a tiny sombrero on my penis. Care to explain?
Randomize
