You can only be slapped by Eastern European waitresses so many times. I guess they don't want my huge cock in their iron curtain
I was scared of Debbie's boobs today. They were all huge and scary looking
I have to start avoiding pregnant women. This is getting out of hand.
Should I go home with him even though I know my Run DMC undies have skid marks on them?
i can recognize that vagina from a mile away
i'm sad. The beetle crawled away. I was only trying to get him stoned.
We're watching a video in class about cheese. The scoring for it sounds like that of a Lifetime movie. My mind is creative. I've continued my own story in my head of a wheel of cheese that was raped and murdered. It's so sad. I hope they get the guy. Btw, the video is about marketing.
Alas, very true. I'll sell some of my eggs and give you like 10%
And with my 90% I'll get a scooter with a sidecar. And a pony. Also with sidecar.
1 be hot 2 flirt with everyone 3 use hotness to make people do things for you. It's a simple model.
By the end of the night I was using him as a leg rest and he was handing me pizza rolls when I wiggled my hand. It's a proven method.
After you bought Jesus' name tag off him at the Mexican restaurant you commenced to stumbling around the lobby showing anybody who would listen what would Jesus do.
Stop giving me tequila.
there's a guy in the del taco parking lot doing pushups. let's be his friends
I just rolled an Obama blunt and a Romney shame joint for tonight. Vote wisely.
Then you guys just all showered together...?
That was my first party and they were so suprised that this little freshman girl was a FUCKING BEER PONG QUEEN.
You’re going to be a doctor, and I’m going to be a trophy wife. We both have goals
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