"it" just moved
thanks 4 putting "im not your boyfriend baby" on my sex playlist. she just got pissed and left.
Never again. I promise. My old gay body can't handle that much adrenaline twice.
Hey, hey, hey, hey. This is a hurriCAN.
I am ina trunk. Iam in a trunnnnnjkk. I hope its yours. Oh manomanomano. Thids better be your trunk
Seriously, it sounds like someone is torturing a dozen cats inside a Japanese techno club while a jamaican yells random hipster words through a megaphone.
I just ate powdered extacy out of my wallet. I think I might have for a second of my reasonable life been on your level.
I tried to force my roommate into a sink last night. And I almost won.
So what's today's forecast for the female rollercoaster you've been riding?
I'm not saying I haven't been that drunk. I'm just saying I haven't been that drunk and then have cops buy me shots.
Why is there ANOTHER stolen fire extinguisher in my room? You know that's a felony right...
Our DD painted my costume on me for tonight. The strippers have been teaching him how to paint costumes.
He had a hook in his ceiling. I think I'm in love!
I peed outside 4 times after the bar, safe to say I had great night
High me is so sweet. She left not-high me a fortune from a fortune cookie and 6 packets of soy sauce in my tampon drawer.
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