I climb out of my sunroof. I mean its kind of embarrassing but part of me feels awesome and ninja like.
I don't care where my tongue is but i t's going to be in all the pictures.
i was concerned by what you said you would do for a snickers. It wasn't even a Klondike bar.
in the bathroom helping her wash cum out her eye. pretty much explains my sex life
We got blackout for the alumni dinner, and then walked THROUGH the keynote speaker, managing to still say "excuse me".
I have a spoon shaped bruise on my ass...
Then he told me he was proud of me for remembering that i blew him that night.. Maybe my drinking is getting out of hand.
Don't let the fact that shes seen my penis discourage you
I held a cracker & gaterade down for an hour. I feel like this will be my greatest accomplishment of the day.
Dude she hit me with my own penis and it hurt. I've never been cock slapped but she slapped me with my own cock so it has to be worse.
One of the guys I danced with wanted to give me his number so I convinced him I had a photographic memory and that I would remember it.
i swear i just dislocated a hip staying still
Fuck you, if it wasn't for us going to the city, she would be using me as a human sex toy all day.
I decided taking Molly and seeing Birdman seemed like a wise life choice.
he had DANDRUFF in his PUBES. 0/10 would not blow again.
Randomize
