apparently when i got back to tyler's i layed face down on the bed and yelled "don't hurt my asshole!"
you know you should just kill yourself when you are helping your 16 year-old sister get ready for a date and you're going out to dinner with you parents..
I think jizz is working it's way to becoming my number 1 food source.
I feel like im in a tornado of daylight savings, tequila and death
He felt like a one man threesome
I'm pretty sure you're not supposed to hit on someone with another guy's semen in your hair. not even at ihop.
He told his ice cream cone it 'looked cute' and then started to cry. The Dairy Queen people were not pleased.
Also I walked home in over mitts \nLet's take a minute to really laugh about that
So I'm at that stage in my life where I am stalking my stalker just to get laid
I really really need to have and out of body experience just so I can talk to myself about this shit that I'm doing with my life.
Usually I just ask myself "have I been naked here?" If the answer is no I correct the situation.
Now I'm ashamed that I wore a bra
You got your ass kicked outside KFC on Tuesday
Its nights like last night that make me want to high five my liver.
I've been on the cocaine and semen diet for the last 24 hours, lunch sounds great.
Randomize
