Hooked up with my old baby sitter last night, so what do I do? As I was sucking her tits I decided it would be a good idea to say " goo goo gah gah"....it wasn't a good idea.
we seriously had to hang a plastic bag on his ears so he could throw up right into it.
I have 250 contacts there has to be someone sober to take me to taco bell
last day of my family cruise we all got trashed and had an award ceremony. I got the award for hooking up with a cougar. my grandma hugged me and said im living up to the legacy. this is why my familys better than yours
Some guy just yelled at me from his car "CLIIIIIIIIIITT"... I feel like this has something to do with last night....
She rode an inflatable shark down the stairs. Viva shark week.
I will keep you posted and someday if we daydrink teach you how to do a footjob
he taught all the little kids to ski. it was stupid hot. i'm pretty sure my ovaries exploded.
Thanks for coming out I think haley is drunk enough for breast milk White Russians
When I come home and take my bra off and I'm served with a perfect grilled cheese along with a glass of wine. Priceless.
IT TOOK ME LIKE AN HOUR TO DO THAT. DO YOU KNOW HOW HARD IT IS FOR ME TO CONCENTRATE ON ONE THING FOR AN ENTIRE HOUR?!
Update: pile o Coke party starting at approx 4 - 7 and going until 1ish to celebrate our founding fathers and love of cocaine and hatred of everyone\n
If my dildo had feelings, they. Would've deffinately been hurt. He put that toy to shame..
Yup we found her. The bouncer was carrying her out
I love Texas men! TSA agent found my vibrator, nodded approvingly, and said, “You have a nice night, ma’am” with a cowboy accent. I almost made out with him on the spot
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