shaved balls and baby powder=awesome
maybe you should take the dick out of your mouth before you start talking.
i did. i'm using it as a microphone.
Fuck, operation next sex victim is on as soon as i get back. Do not sleep with that red head, nobody likes accidental ginger babies.
i think i just heard my dad finish in the other room...
were talking about masturbation in my pysc class. He says it's healthy. I'm gonna live forever
I want to get laid tonight but my sheets haven't been washed since vomiting in them on Halloween :(
heading to class now, facing the weekend consquences
after watching ten minutes of "the decision," I conclude that King Lebron has more influence on America than Barak Obama. I love our countries values.
I called my dad at 3 a.m. because I thought he'd be proud that I didnt get arrested. Daddys little girl at her finest...
She told me to act like the hulk during sex. Shit got 9 different shades of weird
Ugh I need to clean my floors/walls/ I actually don't understand why boys get drunk and pee on things
Next time one of us has a party everybody has to wear a diaper. But actually you just need a shit ton of disinfectant wipes and maybe a hazmat suit.
You just kept yelling and saying, "IM NOT GOING TO STOP YELLING UNTIL YOU TAKE THAT SHOT"
Just dodged a state trooper, your weed will be there shortly. Fear the unbustable!
I can feel my teeth in 4 dimensions. I shouldnt be this high at 8 in the morning.
I'm the kind of girl who misses her mouth when trying to eat, do you honestly think I'm coordinated enough to wear heels during sex?
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