thought so. i woke up and he was playing with my eyeliner. I MAKE GREAT CHOICES.
I just cut my nipple shaving
Are you with Adam and his vodka?
Yeswdsssss I masde his pickle gi away ans he go anbnoued
Did you write "I hope this gives you aids" on my box of capn crunch?
Does she usually listen to trance and cut up broccoli when she's high?
thats the 2nd threesome ive been accused of this week
It wasn't until like 4 and when we got off the phone you said god was summoning you back into the bar
Doing lines off a plate that says, "things go better with coke."
At the gym and this really hot trainer checked me out and was talking to his buddy about his workout. He then says "yeah man, like I'm doing so many reps- what's 7 times 7, 45?"
He was THIS close.
Still butthurt there's a framed picture of me passed out on the toilet in my grandparents' living room
he's dressing as a chick for halloween. of course i'm gonna make him get his legs professionally waxed. how is this even a question?
well it was great until i saw his anime body pillow
I am no longer embarassed by my vagina
It concerns why you would be in the first place, but I'd rather not know
I have to stay away from bourbon. Despite what it keeps telling me, it is NOT my friend.
She threw her burger out the car window last night. My vegan neighbors were not pleased but I’m pretty sure I saw a for sale sign go up on their lawn so I owe her one.
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