Does she know that uploading nude photos to photobucket and networking are two different things? You may want to ask.
I incognito puked under the VIP table. Did Jersey proud.
I also would have accepted most things ending in "job", erotic favors, and food.
he proceeded to grab my vagina through my leggings in the middle of the dance floor. strangely enough I was okay with it
he texted me at 3am asking for "one of my famous blowjobs"
Sorry, but you probably shouldn't come over. I'm too sober for this.
Sorry I kept grabbing your vagina at the casino. I believed it was my lucky unicorn to win bonuses
Fuck Sunday funday. Fuck real pants. Fuck the sun. Fuck Jameson. Fuck my life. Yes, I am hungover as shit sitting in my office eating bacon.
Wednesday is my day of reflection and making my dick and balls into shapes. So i'll be pretty busy.
the reputation of my dick game is on the line. You're killing the team, here, G
The guy I'm talking to drunk texted me his essay last night and he asked me to revise it
They have beer where we have blood.
I've slapped too many boys and done too many naked laps for it only to be 10:30pm
You woke up, looked straight at me and screamed "fuck barbara streisand!" and passed out again
Apparently his ex was into edging and did it to him so much that it takes forever for him to cum
I hate you and your multiple orgasm sexcapades
Randomize
