My place. Tomorrow Night. Bring your liver, and something for it to do.
i am not allowed to pick the men i sleep with anymore
Drunk and had dance off with 8 year old. Lost. Still drinking
Yeah like at least with a penis what you see is what you get with a vagina there can always be a surprise inside
just wrote a 6 page paper on my blackberry. including 3 sources. college is teaching me good things so far.
I used his computer to order the pizza and the only thing he had in his search bar was 'text NASA'
I'd rather be castrated by angry chipmunks Than live your life for 24 hours
next time we make out at a concert please try to refrain from screaming out our hotel room number.. the amount of guys that knocked on our door after you passed out was ridiculous
That's not a funny feeling. That's hepatitis. You got it from that bar where everything was sticky.
You need Xanax blowdarts
I'm pretty sure I have enough material at this point to start a blog called Guys I've Banged in Pictures together. Why does this keep happening to me!
Our first crop came in on the day that they added Hercules to Netflix Instant, I think it's the universe telling us that it approves of us growing shrooms in our guest room.
Can you tell me why Star Wars Burlesque is pulled up on my phone from last night?
I'm not saying you're stupid, just that you have bad luck when thinking...
Flight got cancelled. Stayed in the same hotel as the flight crew so now I can cross Sex with Pilot off the bucket list
He regularly flies into DC, so I’m going to sign him up for my Frequent Flyer program!
Randomize
