Oh My! A car just drove by me a splashed me with a wave of water. I am drenched and soaking wet!
I am sorry--all I heard is that you are wet.
My gyno actually laughed when I told her about his penis size.
i just walked passed a table of guys by myself.. they looked @ me talked and then yelled 7
id pin you as more of an 8
You took all of my sister's dolls and threw them out the window and then you started talking to her etcha sketch and mr. potato head. I later found you passed out in front of Toy Story and it all made sense.
after last night i think it would be a good idea if i wrote a will... you know, just in case.
threw up in my backpack again. Asian guy I cheat from wasn't pleased.
I FOUND THE PROF I'M GOING TO FUCKKKK.
It was everywhere, it looked like he just took the leftovers and threw them around the bathroom... Festively...
An we can hold bottles of vodka in our hands singing yo ho a pirates life for me
That stripper was not happy when I tried putting a dollar in her court mandated ankle bracket/tracking device
He is like the "hometown sweetheart", but a huge freak. Like "I'll come change your flat tire"....but then fuck you like an animal in the back seat.
I had her buy me a cock ring, so we might test that out. We are presently playing yahtzee.
Cock rings and yahtzee. Like peanut butter and jelly.
Wow. Last night.
I knew you were shit blasted when you called me your "sunflower queen"
She was way too drunk so I dropped her off at her house and smoked a huge blunt with her mom.
I'm just going to assume my unresponsive booty calls are just preparing for the women's march tomorrow
Randomize
