Of course im so fucked up sarah. I fight away tornadoes.
it makes it look bigger when i shave, i hope its not the same for a girl
I swear every time I make the effort to make my hair look nice, someone jizzes in it.
I gave myself a pep talk in the library bathroom mirror. and then threw up in the sink.
It's official. The summoning powers of my vagina are unmatched by anything in this world.
nothing says 4th of july like teaching grandma how to work a keg
so i guess now we know you can get away with peeing mere feet from the Capitol if you shout IM PREGNANT at the guards
The spark has left our relationship. i used to make slightly inflammatory jokes at you. you would retaliate in jest. look at this. look at what is happening here.
first time i ever mailed panties back to a fuck buddy. what better of a way to say its over
I came to the party for him. I don't know where he went, but I mentioned being hungry and his housemate brought me a huge tupperware container of berry cobbler. I think I'll stay.
Yup, two strangers look up at each other and realize the only connection they have is the dead woman they banged to death below them. Magic. They have to be best friends now.
His whole street is under construction. Third walk of shame this week & I'm getting a lot of sympathetic nods from the workers.
Our night has progressed to doing coke off a laundry machine through a parking ticket
He's so sweet...I can't see him enjoying that I got injured during sex.
Fuck the walk of shame. I make this shit glorious.
The fact that you arent wearing shoes probably just adds to the classiness
Condom wrapper stuck to my shirt ups the anty
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