Can a clitoris grow tomatoes? Its symbolic and rhetorical.
i have the same doorman on the day shift as the guyi shacked with has on the night shift. he just laughed at me when i came home this AM. FML
Where are you???
With some dude on the way to his house to blaze
You went back to a stranger's house????
He isn't a stranger...he used to be on kids, inc.
I love LA.
I can't make any promises. I've tried my best to stay celibate. But if a guys on top of me, Im gonna tell him to stick it in.
I didn't think I could chip a tooth while giving a blowjob until I met him.
Wouldn't pinatas filled with coke be awesome idea for cinco de mayo?
So from the residue on my balls I think it was mashed potatoes she had in her mouth
gross. I think i'll just donate all my eggs. My children will be incredible, but they're not welcome in my womb
mom just made me 'sorry-you-have-hpv-pancakes'
Apparently we were arguing for captain seats so I shouted "who has your virginity." I got the seat.
Some guy just ate one of the dog treats. I have him a free beer. I love my job.
I wanted to say, you're welcome for your orgasms, thanks for not returning the favor, Needledick
Like he was cock blocking and it usually takes ten cocks to block this cock
Another thing to add to the list of things not to do while I'm drunk......explain to the upstairs neighborr how to have quiet orgasams......she now thinks I want to be part of a threesome......fuck my life
Interlocking vagina powers go!!'
Oh god, your drunk again aren't you?
Randomize
