Oh. My. God. Best non-relationship, he-might-be-cheating-on-his-boyfriend-but-I-can't-tell-because-of-the-language-barrier sex EVER!
No. I was horrified and confused as to why you thought scrambled eggs and cottage cheese was a good mix
I'm on page 4.
Im on beer infinity
i felt horrible..i wanted to somehow give him his vcard back
that's a non refundable transaction sweetheart
she said they gang banged her to "who let the dogs out." the dude left of the middle barked along. sounds like a good time.
just saw a couple drunkenly stumble over to the family planning aisle of Walgreens. inspiring.
You made everyone who was on the patio sit on the floor and join your "ship" because you were the Captain. It was cool though. You let me be your 1st Mate.
Come on. I'll make you hot pockets. Literally and sexually.
She was kinda cute. So long as you don't mind neck tattoos and bad life choices.
I really resent how she stayed home and ruined my plans to watch sci-fi and masturbate.
I look like slutty woodland creatures dress me in the morning. Everybody's got problems.
Sending a dick pic with a 2010 time stamp on it is violation of proper sexting etiquette
I'm eating a block of cheese like its a sandwich in the tsa line
He's eating a sriracha ravioli sandwich. How do you think the night is going?
I just got fed by 3 guys. I love my job.
Randomize
