My brain says no but my pants say off.
I was in the bathroom throwing up...when I walked out he was sitting there watching porn and jacking off. He said, "Sounded like you were gonna be in there for a while."
There's a lady carrying her kids toy animals in a crown royal bag. Mom of the year.
Everyone was high fiveing on their a walks of shame home. God im gonna miss college life
The theme is smores and alcohol. Dress appropriately.
You know summer is almost over when ur school booty calls start hitting u up as if solidifying their spot in drunken mistakes for next semester
Should we start at nine like normal people or now like alcoholics?
He said you stopped mid-fuck, called fives on his dick, walked out to grab another drink, and came back.
We got to the second bar and all he kept saying was "I'm on an alcohol safari!" Best 21st birthday ever.
He licked my mouth. I felt like I was making out with my dog.
I'll miss you, too. On the bright side, a night away from one another might give me a chance to recup seminal fluids.
I wouldn't say I LOVE Pacman. I mean, sure, I'd battle against you in an epic Pacman struggle for blow jobs and glory. But I mean, who wouldn't?
1st date with cop went weird. He yelled at me & we had a horrible date. Walking to the car I tripped & started bleeding & then he made out with me. Is it wrong that I want to see him again?
THIS IS WHY YOU NEED THERAPY!
So I said "fuck it" and made myself a sandwich
Cancel your plans for the fourth someone is streaming iron chef on twitch
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