i puked in the mini-firdge
we don't have a mini-fridge?
bought one. it ws too cheap to pass up. xcept now there's puke in it,,, but the freezer's fine so i feel pretty good about that
once we finished he held up the condom and asked if i wanted to keep it as a souvenir.
oh and he was serious.
anyone who says 'i love you' and then followed by 'im going to call the cops if you touch me' doesnt really mean the first part fyi
I don't have the money to get a cast so we made one from stuff at the craft store.
I really wanna know when trying to grow up turned into try not to throw up.
She gave us all a pep talk at the bus stop at 1 AM. It involved cupcakes and somehow ended with her making out with her best friend. God bless college.
I am too young to be this hungover
Is this your way of saying you want a sober 19th?
I accidentally got a lemon stuck in your bong. I was trying to make it taste good. Sorry
I keep telling myself that if Britney can make it through 2007, I can make it through this date.
She's drunk as hell locked up I. The bathroom with my shoes where do I go from here
He pulled a kid having a seizure out of a car and stayed with him until the ambulance came.
he what???
Not kidding. My ovaries cannot handle this shit...swear next time he'll rescue a bunch of pound puppies and hand them out to lonely orphans.
Be safe. If you have intercourse with a boy use so many condoms this his penis is no longer recognizable.
I wrote an entire paper in under an hour about The Nightmare Before Christmas. I was also high as shit and pretty sure I dedicated half the page to the animation but still.
Who the fuck watches Jessica jones and thinks I need to call a past fling?
Yeah that was post sex. I was thinking in my mind, no wonder he didnt ask me to call him daddy since he actually is a dad
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