I walked up to her and said hello and wanted to ask her if she had fun last night... she asked me if we had met before.
Wouldn't pinatas filled with coke be awesome idea for cinco de mayo?
for real. he might as well bring dogs if they're lower than a 7.
Um, yeah. You lit my birthday candles with a joint. Mom= not happy.
i'm sitting in the pool eating chicken pot pie with my little brother's friend. moments like these are the reason i love weed.
I've never had a better reason to do blow of a Pittsburgh strippers ass than to try and keep pace with my dad.
I just put up a picture on my dorm room wall of that ginger you hooked up with to remind myself that everyone makes mistakes
i have a queen bed, a cherrywood bed frame, and gold sheets. how are you saying no to me right now?
I made friends with the delivery guy because he had beautiful dread locks and was a Zelda fan. He texted me after he left saying he wasn't trying to be creepy but we should be friends. We're hanging out tomorrow.
How does this kind of shit happen to you?!
It's like some sort of initiation to finger one of them... so I did it. And got high fived afterwards like a dozen times.
Those were right hand only?
We need to get fucked up again and play games like "save the tequila but dodge the knife"
if you're the one who put those dollar bills in my bra last night, thank you because I just used that money to get myself a coffee
I know you've been in hospital with meningitis, but last night I walked into a streetlight and bruised my penis so who's really suffering here
Why are my jeans soaking wet and smell like chlorine??
Bc u told a stranger in the hotel "I have sinned' and made him get into the hotel fountain and "baptize u". I've got a vid
a day off where I don’t get laid would be worthless
Randomize
