my entire walk over here no one looked in my eyes. Period Boobs are BAACKKK.
I'm wearing the bright blue sombrero all through the airport as a sign of triumph that I survived spring break. I'm getting compliments
when I picked him up he smelled like cheeseburgers, had a bite mark around his left nipple and we think someone stabbed him in the forehead with a pencil... it was like the Hangover meets Texas Chainsaw Massacre
Im doing shots of vodka in the bathroom covered in pillows.
Tornado warnings are fun!
Can you give me a hickey quick? Im going to a white trash themed party. Completely serious
I think my cats understand what porn is. And it's all my fault.
He came for an unexpected visit and let's just say I shattered his illusion that girls don't watch porn
Also just throwing this out there I don't think anyone who brings another girl back to your bed to share with you can qualify as a frigid bitch
We were debating whether you had hooked up with him. I was right for the record.
Usually I just ask myself "have I been naked here?" If the answer is no I correct the situation.
All the drunken hookups over the last year are self destructing, at least something is keeping nursing school interesting
The night was crazy enough that we did a workout. Instructed by the bouncer at 2am
Bring me pizza. I'll trade you your underwear you left here for 2 slices.
I saw a drunk guy run across the street with an American flag between his buttcheeks.
I had to remind him last night as he had his arm around me, "We hook up, we don't cuddle!"
Randomize
