When you're on the hood of a car, 10 mph feels pretty fucking fast.
Does it make me a prostitute if I accepted a Life House concert ticket for giving this guy head?
No. It just means your good at giving head.
She's trying to master eating with her feet. She said it was be she "always has to be prepared."
i need to buy one of the child leashes to wear at mardi gras or else im never making it out alive
I should start riding the bus again so I can drink all day
She shouted out halfway through "that costume does nothing to hide your cock". Last time we let her drink at the theatre.
I dnt think she needs convincing on the threesome part, it's the threesome with your roommate situation that needs some work
I didn't want to have shaved for no reason, so I told him I'd blow him if he would just come over and appreciate the smoothness of my legs.
Just bailed on her the best way possible. Got tickets to the game. Only issue is.... if we lose, we not only lost, but I skipped sex to watch us lose
I think I need to see a chiropractor after giving that blow job
I asked him to sing a song so he couldn't hear me throwing up as he was holding my hair
Went to my bottom drawer for my stash , gone just a note says thanks sucker love dad
I really prefer to do my walks of shame in the summer
Family acid trip. They're welcoming me into the family.
What. The. Fuck.
Family acid trip.
My roommate made maccoroni last nigh dropped the bowl off the counter knocking it into the dog bowl he picked up the dog bowl and started eating it claiming it was te worst Mac and cheese ever and if he wasnt so high he would stop eating it hahahaha
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