If this place produced love children they would be born wearing Lilly Pullitzer with raging coke addictions.
i had a headache and asked the kid next to me for aspirin. he gave me esctacy instead. gotta love college.
masturbating is 5million times harder to finish knowing grandma is in the guestroom downstairs. just so you know.
Chillin with my Grandpa and my grandma tells us there is a tornado warning. My grandpa then says "We'll go hang out in the basement, we can bring the keg with us." This is why I love coming home
Do you know what's great about Canada?..... There will always be a Tim Hortons on my walk of shame route
Last night we looked at each other with an expression of "fuck I am so done being normal", took off our shirts, and danced around in our bras
He wants a "vagina fling" before he commits to dick for life. I'm gonna allow it.
I just ran into the married chick you banged 2 years ago at our apt! She asked me if I could get her coke! Memories bro. Memories
Told some chick I'm a virgin, on my way to her house as I type this. Debating crying afterwards to fuck with her head.
Bang-toberfest begins!!
I really want to throw this drink in your face but it was 6 dollars that shits expensive
Can you find me some 'I threw up in my hair last night' medicine?
If you were more comfortable around gay men, then you too could get wasted at the gay dance club and go home with hot girls.
Wanna get drunk and make some bad decisions?
Are you calling me a bad decision?
i got drunk and started dancing with the plant because you were out of town
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