i'm listening to "transmissions" by The Tea Party from like '97 and waxing my legs. fuck i'm awesome in my alone time
That blackeyed peas song was on, so I thought that was prediciting tonight was going to be a good night. And then my garage door opner fell and hit me in the head.
I literally just copy and pasted that from another bbm convo bc I'm far too stoned to explain that again.
suddenly SuperBad didn't seem so funny anymore...she did have her period on my leg.
Is there any way to un-invite somebody to a wedding? I just checked out the other family, and I can't have a cockblock there.
M WATCHING THE HISTORY CHANNEL AND IT SAID THAT WHEN THE LUST PART OF THE BRAIN IS ACTIVATED THE JUDGEMENT PART IS NOT. THIS EXPLAINS SO MUCH.
This kid is too lonely to be my drug dealer.
if you want blown tonight you're gonna have to take me up on that offer now. in less then 45 minutes you're gonna be blacked out and i'm not doing something i'm not getting credit for in the morning.
Ja rule starts his prison sentence today #3475th reason we should drink tonight
But please don't judge me if i smell like mustard
Like it was the Mama Mia of shit shows. That bad.
Well... When your girlfriend fucks your sister, the 2 week courtesy window goes out the door.
Jacked up my neck and shoulder hanging on for dear life while I rode him like a boss. Plus my house smells like broccoli, bad! How's YOUR morning?
If she gets mad at me, that only means more free time for me. I like to put myself I win win situations. Despite being in a relationship, I still find ways to accomplish my goals.
Life if anyone rolls up to my funeral with shitty weed get them out of there
I'm hungover from the 8pm vodka and still drunk from the 5am beer.
Randomize
