So im pretty sure the object of my emotional onterest is tired of playing with me....
she always made me post sex PB&Js it was like fucking a trashier Martha Stewart
Keeping my bail papers as a souvenir from when I was arrested. Too weird?
we had a 10 minute conversation with his family about how I don't let him eat me out. I want to go home
he turned the pretty ricky playlist on. its about to go down.
Her tits were the only thing that upgraded her from "no way in fuck" to "drunken mistake"
you looked at her and told her she looks like the girl you lost your virginity to then told her you wanted to lose it to her again
And my cat won't make me food. She's a bitch
Operation: sleep in every bed at the boys' house is nearing completion. Now at 5/9. I AM GOLDILOCKS AND NO ONE CAN STOP ME
If 26 stitches didn't sober her up, nothing will.
The part of "Dave" will now be played by "Rob." Rob, why don't you unzip and show Dave why that is.
I work 80 hours a week to prevent myself from just laying in bed and masturbating all day. It's a hands off strategy.
Don't do anything I wouldn't do. Thankfully for you that list does not include male models.
wouldn't be a true Fourth of July without dropping acid at 9pm on a Monday
FREEDOM
I woke up remembering only that I got pulled over by a cop, then looked over and found that same cop, naked.
Randomize
