love how google fills in search terms for you, today for example, i ran a query for "why do girls get t"
and google finished it w/ "ramp stamps."
I felt less weird knowing others had searched this before me.
I just saw that your im name has '4eva' in it. Your man card has been revoked.
We pay for beer, you give birth. It's how the world works.
Bubblewrap condoms. We can steal Ziplock's new slogan. Protection you can hear.
I only keep her as my best friend so she wont hook up with my ex.
Yo, go checkout Kerri's Instagram quick! There's like 12 pics of her fucking some guy in a bar's bathroom. GO GO GO GO!!!!
You can kiss the security deposit goodbye after you and your boyfriend did donuts on his moped in the middle of the apartment. It was impressive since you were both too drunk to walk.
Gonna play a drinking game called drink til I feel my emotions. The things I do so I can be a therapist
Not sure if creeper guy is too drunk to talk or I'm too high to listen.
She said she is going to be sex-slave version of Princess Leia for halloween. You think there is any way I could pull off an attractive Jabba suit?
if you were broke and planning on using koolaid as a tequila chaser which flavor would you pick?
Don’t worry I was with my ex husband for 10 years and he could never remember the year I was born, when our dating anniversary was or what year I graduated high school. But I still know that mother fuckers SSN lol
I yelled at your uterus for you.
He sent me a text saying his breakfast today was leftover mead and some fruit salad
This pandemic, it’s making everyone horny. I’ve got dick stashed all over town
Randomize
