Let's make love on the newspapers that declare financial doomsday
Then we started crawling around on the floor because we couldn't get up so decided to be tigers instead. Gotta love power hour.
we tried have sex after i gave him a handjob. he wouldnt get hard and kept saying his little boy is broken.. please come get me
It was unlikely that the relationship was going to end with anything other than antibiotics.
i am breaking up with you. because you wash your hair too much and you only drink light beer and because you're not party enough.
Just woke up from a dream where you lived in a gingerbread house on a snowy cliff by the sea. The dolphins were swimming away from a giant dust storm. You REALLY ought to smoke this before bed tonight.
I'm wearing red that night.
Noted, what shade?
Whore.
Me too. We could do it like prostitutes. No kissing on the mouth.
Overslept. So hungover. Apparently texting the first person in my contact list the time I would like to wake up is not how the alarm clock in my phone actually works.
So now I'm lying here in bed taking notes from Teen Mom... I fucked up
I had to write an apology letter to my roomate for hotboxing in our bathroom. What a bitch.
Pretty sure I got pink eye from the strip club. There is also still beer cans rattling around in my shower.
we were clicking our heels together saying theres no place like home, while the cops were tellin us to call our parents and tell them what happened.
No, not if I told them not to. they listen to me. I have a vagina.
Right after i got done cumming i sat back and gave a big Ric Flair "WOOOOOO!"
Randomize
